Most people that read my blog understand what I am saying. Some people think I am right off my rocker. Others seem to think I am a downright bitch with crazy ideas on how relationships, family, and the world work. It's okay not to agree with me. It's okay to have a different opinion. As long as you are talking about the subject and reflecting within you're own walls, that is all that matters.
Which brings us from my last post to Generation 2000K. This is a branded name of my own making, yet it best describes how I feel about my generation and the generation directly before mine. Unfortunately the generation under me is looking like Generation Doomed.
So what is Generation 2000K?
G2K as I call it, is the mass of supposedly in love people in my generation that refuse to actually work on a marriage, but would rather spend the minimal $2000 to get divorced. When did this become acceptable? I hear my generation say to their grandparents that have been married for 50 years or over "Wow. 50 Years! How do you do it?"
Are you kidding me?
I can tell you how they do it. They WORK at it. Yes Ladies and Gents, you heard that right. They WORK at it. Marriage is a full time job. You took the position when you proposed, ran around with your girlfriends for the beautiful White Dress, planned the big event, and said in front of friends and family...
"In good times, and IN BAD"
When did it become okay to just run to the first lawyer and file for the "Big D" just because you had a fight, or because he didn't agree with you, or because she talked to some other guy at the office?
When the hell did we become the type of society to teach our children that people are disposable no matter how much you claim to love them?
Why do you have to get married a year after you get engaged? Why do you get engaged a year after you start dating? There is a reason that most marriages fail in the first 5 years. It's because you don't KNOW each other. You didn't take that time, you just got the ring, got the dress, said I do, bought a house and thought it would all come together and work itself out. HA! How is that goin for ya?
So what do I mean by work? Let me give you an example.
My husband is a very quiet man. Obviously, I am not exactly quiet. Obnoxious is more like it. When we would sit and talk, I would do most of the talking, trying to get words out of him was like pulling teeth. I even remember at one point in the middle of a conversation, I got up and walked to the wall and began speaking to it. Throwing it in his face that it was the same thing as talking to him. Insert instant fight. Yet throughout this fight I listened to him. His explanation was this... "What I want to say gets all mixed up in my head and I can't get it out right, or it sounds wrong, or mean, so I just don't say anything"
Hmmm...okay...
G2K reaction to this? We are not compatiable and you will never get over this. I can't take someone that doesn't talk to me and tell me what's going on. We should maybe go our separate ways since we are obviously NOT on the same page.
My "WORK" at it reaction? Things are getting scrambled in his head and he needs more than a split second to figure out how he feels and what he wants to say. Alternative? Let's set up a "Diary" on the computer, so he can sit down for an hour if he needs to and just type out what he thinks and how he feels. He can tell me he has written in it and I will then read it and write back. I discussed this with him and he agreed that it would be easier. So I checked my girlie "OMG Talk to me NOW" instincts and made the diary on the computer. He would write in it and leave me a note to let me know. I would write back in the diary and leave him a note that I did so. We conversed like this for 2 YEARS! Yes 2 Years!
What did I learn from it? I learned that he needed time to process things, he sometimes said things that sounded mean, but it's because they didn't come out in conversation the same way that they worked in his head. I learned patience, relationship work ethic, love. I learned about my husband. His deep down thoughts and feelings. It's much easier to write and admit these things, then it is to say to someone's face. Yet once you have told them in either form, it gets easier as time goes on, until every wall is broken down and you have truly let that person in. That takes time. A lot more time that a 6 month engagement and a half a second wedding. Just because you had the big day with the dress, the bachelor party, the celebration party after doesn't make you a Wife or Husband. The WORK you put into it does.
So the next time you have a little tiff with your significant other, or don't see eye to eye on something, or don't like something they said or did, have a conversation. Communicate it. Don't become a G2K. Be better than that. Rise above the bullshit and work at something that has the possibility of being amazing.
You wouldn't quit your job because your boss said something you didn't like right? So why quit your marriage for the exact same thing?
Side Note Recommendations
I am not really a "Religious" person per say, but I highly recommend the movie "Fireproof" with Kirk Cameron. I think every couple should watch it. If you are not a religious person, then still watch it, just don't get freaked out by the biblical connotations. You can watch the movie online here FireProof
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